Saturday, January 14, 2012

The yin and yang of gender equality...

Im an avid supporter of gend"err" equality(barring a couple of gender differences which I have come to accept like women cry bucket loads and men well.... Mard ko dard nahi Hota!!) but off late I've had a couple of points where I really feel like there is a thick glass ceiling when it comes to the equality status of us womenfolk!!

 Inequality #1:

If the girl is fat, short or not striking it doesn't appeal to a man who also might be one or all of it! I've heard this from all my guy-friends who are about to get married and it feels like ladies in the Neanderthal era had more exclusive rights than a woman in the 21'st century!! Whatever happened to old tales of heart over looks it never works in this century for sure. If you look like some eva longoria it's good enough, doesn't matter how black your soul is!(arrey wo sab toh shadi ke bad dekhi jayegi yarrrrr). That's why you see all the sexy and mature men married to hot girls! But have you ever seen the reverse happening?? Exactly my point ladies!!

Inequality #2:

A man is entitled to be nasty, burp, fart or even smell bad at times (especially the sweat!! and gee are we supposed to drool at the very smell of sweaty testosterone... Wait a minute I can smell sweat not testosterone and it's really not that sexy!!) but if you are a woman never mind, you are born without a gut or sweat glands! Oh gawd what great sin... And the facial and body hair... Don't even get me started on it!! I've nothing against ladies shaving but if there were truly a population which respects equality in this matter then I think all of us need to be born in France! I know you get the point, especially the Indian Men need to learn something from those fellas!!

 Inequality #3:

A guy can really ask for space more often than he goes to the loo to poop "however!!" If you ask for the same it worries your man that something is really wrong (oooo damn it she's giving me the cold shoulder again, as if our need for space has a completely different angle to it.. Hmm.. I'm still trying to figure what that might be... Prejudice maybe!!). So it's in this order space, time off with friends and schedule... You dare do the same and you are either difficult to live with or too demanding and the rest of the junta will dismiss you off as cold. Its like this trip switch, you are supposed to have a life when he's busy and pretend that you don't have one when he wants to spend time with you. It really doesn't matter if it's that day of the month or if you feel sleepy!! And don't even get me started on the grooming part, men can look like a wrinkled T-shit yes T-shit but we women have to look beautiful, at all times!

Inequality #4:

once you got kids it's the woman's job to change the diapers, wipe their ass, take care of their homework and feed em! Oh come onnnnnnn! Your kids are the sweet fruits of lovemaking and it takes two to make love so why is love's labour only a Woman's responsibility?? You want your lady to work, cook, and then take care of your kids and in between all this look nothing less than a gorgeous seductress from some James bond movie! Oh come onnnnnnnnnn!! All this while you look like a wrinkled T-shit all the time! duh! All this with a lady's weird hormones!! I really feel every man should be injected with a truck full of estrogen after the kids are born to really get a real feel of what a woman undergoes! I mean seriously all they have is testosterone and we got FSH, LSH, estrogen, progesterone, Oxytocin an the list is endless! No wonder I am convinced nowadays that god is really a man!!

Inequality #5:

A woman is never allowed to be too dumb or too intelligent! If she is dumb and by god's grace pretty she is what every man wants to date, and she's too intelligent then she is somehow difficult, cos it scares the holy testosterone out of every man!! Swap this to men if they look too handsome and are dumb they are cute!! If they are too intelligent that's sexy!! Right I realllllly get the math here!! 1~0

 Inequality #6:

His mom and his sis always serve as the yardstick by which he measures your capabilities. You're never too caring,smart, homely, a good cook, or whatever his awesome Maa or didi is!  So typical of the Indian men who just don't get tired of ranting about their maa's and didi's!! Really pity that Maa and didi and empathize with what they went through with the yardsticks they had to surpass... It feels like some badla that we womenfolk take with the rest of us, you know like "I suffered with my husband so I'll create a prototype who passes it on the misery to you". (kyunki saas bhi kabhi Bahu thi shayad!!)

Inequality #7:

If a guy works and you sit at home it's ok! I mean come on yar it's the hunter gatherer rule. However ladies be warned that if ever there arises a situation that your man is a stay at home man, even for a while and you have a job then it's the worst nightmare of your life!! All of a sudden you are that ambitious woman who earns better, is more capable and doesn't somehow respect him!! Sorry but when you have a spat that's when the inequality is striking: "I work shit loads and you sit at home!!" When a man says it, it is somehow jayaz when a woman says it it's Najayaz!! It's really really something that you have to zip it even if you feel like you are dying deep inside, like the way you feel that your bladder will burst when you gotta pee really bad but somehow you know you gotta keep em zip locked for a a looooongggg time!!

Inequality #8:

You are expected to multitask while he focuses and somehow, it's a talent we women need to have!! Ladies!! Men are lying when they say they can't multitask, otherwise how is it that they can drive a car, listen to music and check out all the babes that pass by, admire their beauty and manage it without skipping the red light or getting a ticket???? Exactly my point!! I can go on and on but some lists are endless! So are the complaints of a modern woman from this all presuming era of equality of the sexes...

But let's just end it with inequality #9:

We women don't have the right to whine, complain or feel unhappy about anything while your man misses sleep if he bumps his car somewhere!! That's not all, if it's a major dent then be sure his will have a sleepless night (You wanna discuss finance/life/emotions somehow he is too sleepy for that).... Nevertheless it's a funny and crazy world!!

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