I have always liked Dr. Phil from Oprah Winfrey's show. As far as i can remember it i would sit and watch Oprah's show every morning during my holidays. I think it was the best show ever and i would watch it with significant interest. I think there is nobody better than Oprah who signifies winning despite immense challenges and the way she leads her life by doing charity and giveaways and touching people's lives, its really amazing to see it.
Dr. Phil was her friend who happened to get featured on her shows regarding counseling and self help or with issues relating to motivation. He is one warm person and i feel is very good at talking to his subjects. A couple of days ago, i was going through a video from his show and he kinda mentioned his book called the life code and suggested that this young girl who had abandonment issues should go through it. I thought hmmm... why not pick it up and read it and see?
I think the book mainly would help youngsters who want to get out there in the world and achieve something, nevertheless it can benefit even the not so younger lots as well :) It begins with identifying people who you need to steer clear of from the moment you see certain 8 traits in them, its a warning sign that such people are to be marked out from your territory. Also called as BAITERS i.e Backstabbers, Abusers, Imposters, Takers, Exploiters and/
-Baiters see the world through the lens of arrogant entitlement and frequently treat people as targets! They will never talk to assistants/waiters/service desk but rather demand that they be put onto the managers. Also feel a haughty air of superiority and intelligence and are dismissive and disrespecting of others.
-They lack empathy and have no conscience or moral concern.For them people are mere targets and they lack the capability to step into the other person's shoes. Most of them first attract people by flattery and then move on to snide remarks. They will not respect boundaries of other people, rather they don't think that there are any. Emotions for them are intellectualized than felt and if you closely look through then it gives them away when they react with words but the gestures are missing!
-Incapable of feeling remorse or guilt and do not learn from situation to situation. They do not like to change and adapt, instead they chose to do the same things again and again and avoid changing. They back this up with reasoning which is very flawed than corrective.
-Irresponsible, self destructive and do not have any regard for the well being of others. They do not take responsibility, rather they shift it to someone else. They have addictions which are self destructive, a paradox but one where they feel they are adept at handling it.
-They thrive on drama and crisis - If after a good day they start yelling for no reason you have one besides you! They will create misunderstanding or a hostile environment to play things up.
-They brag about outsmarting other people. At times this might look like denigrating the other person or a sadistic pleasure that the person derives by projecting the other person as a nobody.
-They have a pattern of short term relationships as they are not the giving types. Giving is difficult for baiters, they know how to take. Giving happens when they have to derive something out of you but not post that is done. Baiters are master manipulators and Dr. Phil says try to see the actions more than the words in the beginning as they will surely betray what they are saying.They tend to hide their inefficiencies and always are at their guard. In a crowd of friends they are like the lone wolf, more of an observer than a participant which might lead others to believe they have this marked sense of spirituality or a false sense of aura around them.
-Live in a fantasy world marked by delusions. Paranoia is a definite differentiator, since baiters work with a different logic, they are always ticking to get you before you get them. Their mind is always plotting because of which paranoia sets in, they blow up things or accuse before you accuse them, because according to them there is this whole body of reasoning going on which a normal person cannot think of.
And to end it they will never ever think they need help, they will not take it even if you tell them to. They are like the know it all, who are way beyond the person sitting across the table and feel threatened by assuming the role of an inferior in front of a superior person who will give them advice.It takes law enforcement to get these people to therapy and even then chances are that they are not fully capable of transforming with these sessions. They are masters at manipulating the counselors. There is no sure-shot way of even knowing that they have changed. Less than 5% of them go for such sessions and want to change.
And if you are still unsure about the description that Dr. Phil gives, here is a first hand account of a woman who has been with a BAITER and she gives more details and descriptions of the same:
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/forum/general-support/how-you-become-prey-to-a-charmerabuser/
Dr. Phil's advice for dealing with such people: You need to weed these people out of your lives. They need to go out at any cost.
He also delves deeper as to how they think and why they think that people are objects who do not have any emotions. For them everything lies in manipulating, mirroring and quoting a lie with a kernel of truth. It is immensely enlightening about how they think and how you should stay away from disclosing too much.
Next up Dr. Phil comes up with you plan, how you as a person can become strong and be in the race and not get surprised when you see such baiters entering your lives.
He gives a comprehensive program to work out your areas of vulnerabilities and focus on developing your strengths. So far this is one book that addresses your flaws and how to cope with unresolved issues so that they do not interfere in your development and a comprehensive program for becomig a better you and a more empowered you. The latter part is what I needed the most and it is a definitive must read for anyone who has had a challenging life and is looking for a way to change their way of thinking and perception towards their challenges. I have for one developed a sense of acceptance than the angst that i previously had.
I so far haven't finished a book so fast and i can tell you if self development is what your focus is on then this is one book that will help you play your life! Because you see the rules of this world have changed and what we were taught were good values but the world isn't that good and one needs a good game plan to make it here :) I will give an update as to how these steps are working for me in a month's time probably! Watch out for this space.
Dr. Phil was her friend who happened to get featured on her shows regarding counseling and self help or with issues relating to motivation. He is one warm person and i feel is very good at talking to his subjects. A couple of days ago, i was going through a video from his show and he kinda mentioned his book called the life code and suggested that this young girl who had abandonment issues should go through it. I thought hmmm... why not pick it up and read it and see?
I think the book mainly would help youngsters who want to get out there in the world and achieve something, nevertheless it can benefit even the not so younger lots as well :) It begins with identifying people who you need to steer clear of from the moment you see certain 8 traits in them, its a warning sign that such people are to be marked out from your territory. Also called as BAITERS i.e Backstabbers, Abusers, Imposters, Takers, Exploiters and/
-Baiters see the world through the lens of arrogant entitlement and frequently treat people as targets! They will never talk to assistants/waiters/service desk but rather demand that they be put onto the managers. Also feel a haughty air of superiority and intelligence and are dismissive and disrespecting of others.
-They lack empathy and have no conscience or moral concern.For them people are mere targets and they lack the capability to step into the other person's shoes. Most of them first attract people by flattery and then move on to snide remarks. They will not respect boundaries of other people, rather they don't think that there are any. Emotions for them are intellectualized than felt and if you closely look through then it gives them away when they react with words but the gestures are missing!
-Incapable of feeling remorse or guilt and do not learn from situation to situation. They do not like to change and adapt, instead they chose to do the same things again and again and avoid changing. They back this up with reasoning which is very flawed than corrective.
-Irresponsible, self destructive and do not have any regard for the well being of others. They do not take responsibility, rather they shift it to someone else. They have addictions which are self destructive, a paradox but one where they feel they are adept at handling it.
-They thrive on drama and crisis - If after a good day they start yelling for no reason you have one besides you! They will create misunderstanding or a hostile environment to play things up.
-They brag about outsmarting other people. At times this might look like denigrating the other person or a sadistic pleasure that the person derives by projecting the other person as a nobody.
-They have a pattern of short term relationships as they are not the giving types. Giving is difficult for baiters, they know how to take. Giving happens when they have to derive something out of you but not post that is done. Baiters are master manipulators and Dr. Phil says try to see the actions more than the words in the beginning as they will surely betray what they are saying.They tend to hide their inefficiencies and always are at their guard. In a crowd of friends they are like the lone wolf, more of an observer than a participant which might lead others to believe they have this marked sense of spirituality or a false sense of aura around them.
-Live in a fantasy world marked by delusions. Paranoia is a definite differentiator, since baiters work with a different logic, they are always ticking to get you before you get them. Their mind is always plotting because of which paranoia sets in, they blow up things or accuse before you accuse them, because according to them there is this whole body of reasoning going on which a normal person cannot think of.
And to end it they will never ever think they need help, they will not take it even if you tell them to. They are like the know it all, who are way beyond the person sitting across the table and feel threatened by assuming the role of an inferior in front of a superior person who will give them advice.It takes law enforcement to get these people to therapy and even then chances are that they are not fully capable of transforming with these sessions. They are masters at manipulating the counselors. There is no sure-shot way of even knowing that they have changed. Less than 5% of them go for such sessions and want to change.
And if you are still unsure about the description that Dr. Phil gives, here is a first hand account of a woman who has been with a BAITER and she gives more details and descriptions of the same:
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/forum/general-support/how-you-become-prey-to-a-charmerabuser/
Dr. Phil's advice for dealing with such people: You need to weed these people out of your lives. They need to go out at any cost.
He also delves deeper as to how they think and why they think that people are objects who do not have any emotions. For them everything lies in manipulating, mirroring and quoting a lie with a kernel of truth. It is immensely enlightening about how they think and how you should stay away from disclosing too much.
Next up Dr. Phil comes up with you plan, how you as a person can become strong and be in the race and not get surprised when you see such baiters entering your lives.
He gives a comprehensive program to work out your areas of vulnerabilities and focus on developing your strengths. So far this is one book that addresses your flaws and how to cope with unresolved issues so that they do not interfere in your development and a comprehensive program for becomig a better you and a more empowered you. The latter part is what I needed the most and it is a definitive must read for anyone who has had a challenging life and is looking for a way to change their way of thinking and perception towards their challenges. I have for one developed a sense of acceptance than the angst that i previously had.
I so far haven't finished a book so fast and i can tell you if self development is what your focus is on then this is one book that will help you play your life! Because you see the rules of this world have changed and what we were taught were good values but the world isn't that good and one needs a good game plan to make it here :) I will give an update as to how these steps are working for me in a month's time probably! Watch out for this space.
7 comments:
Interesting to know about kinds of people and how to deal with them. Will look for more in a month's time from now for updates. Thanks Saumya
Jyothi
I'm a great beliver of Mantras and their power. I have been chanting kleem mantra since last 3 month i do use a rosary to chant it 108 times after taking a bath but i got no positive result. I did not even make a new female friend also worst part is i lost two of my best female friend after i started chanting it, it maybe a co-incident but i'm not sure why it's not working in my case. I have read that many people used this mantra and received surprising results. why i didn't?
Let me explain it this way, medicines do not always work on the principle of self preservation! So to loose cancer one must kill one's own cells. Maybe it was in your best interests to loose those friends... Not undermining your sense of loss here though...
Thanks Saumya for replying back. i will try to forget what i lost, it's hard though but i wonder when will this mantra effect me positively, i read other blog and i found some people got desired or positive result in like two days or within a week whereas i have been chanting KLEEM mantra since last 3-4 month everyday 108 times. How should i chant it to get desired result or what should i do to make it work for me or should i stop chanting this mantra since it's affecting me adversely. What's your Opinion?
If you ask me then I'm no expert on it... However chanting without expecting any fruits out of it would probably help... If you go to the website www.astroved.com a lot of people have mentioned that initially things went crazy before they started to stabilise.... Maybe reading those blogs might help you to get motivated and stay positive... Do let me know if this helps! God bless!!
no success so far...it just doesn't work in my case :(
Hi,I need to know this, as I am getting conflict answers. Some say Kleem helps to make your desire person crazy of you and some say it doesn't. What is true? And some even says it's karma. I don't know what that means? Can someone explain please. Thanks.
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