Ever heard of the proverbial statement that the glass is always half full (or for the manic depressives, half empty?). I intend to explain the transition I made from half empty to half full in my ever so tragic life that I thought I had inherited.
To begin with, I have had a tough childhood and an equally punitive set of people for friends, family and husband/boyfriend. To the world they might appear OK, but dealing with them was a real pain in my "ASS" and I vouch for that. Anyway the part of the world where I stay, the lunes always seem to get the right support and convince people that you are the one instead!
Nevertheless, off late with my Buddhist practice, I discovered the furry kitten ball side to me that went missing for a very long time! So the need to prove the proverbial idiot wrong went right out of the window, because you see there are 7 billion people on this planet. Not everyone thinks the same of me and to my surprise, if I disconnect myself from the people I am surrounded with, the so called family, I discovered the universe was a brighter and shinier place!
So here are 7 steps that you can follow to transition from Dummy to Sunny side up:
1) Do not place too much importance on people's opinions. I know this is the hardest part, and rightfully so because as humans we would want dignity and respect for who we are. And not just that but also be understood by the people we are close to. But opinions keep changing, if you wanna see how then go figure how our view of a perfectly capable president changes after a five year term! Or better still how you buy things that you thought you never would! I for one am buying stupid things like Vitamin C serum! I could pop the pill fair and square but hell no, I am slathering that on my face because the beauty industry tells me, contrary to what I read in my biology class that my skin needs vitamins! Wallah!! That is a change in a 5 year period ;)
2) Know who is telling you a lie! Whether its a lie about you or you are being lied to, it doesn't matter, but when something seems off by a big scale, know that its time to not trust and disconnect. I would often get upset when people lied about people and used them as pawns to mock them or better still get sadistic pleasures by hurting them. But you know what, look at the funny and sad part, that is the only way they know to come up in life or do anything in the name of doing! Pity them and move on! The best way to look at it is from a movie reel point of view, look at them as these characters who are beyond repair and in their own funny ways are "Assholes of the nth order!"
3) Know whom to listen to! Don't ever listen to people who give advises, nor listen to people that cannot understand where you are coming from. Because there is a side effect to their advise, if all goes well they don't mind taking the credit for it but should it go bad then you my dear are screwed. They will duck and hope that you don't ever have the luck to point it out to them! So the best thing is make your own choices, eventually one way or the other, what I laid out above will happen should it go well or bad. And its better that you make your own mistakes and call it experience than fail at someone else's advise and call it a grudge!!
4) Never live by people's standards. You see, someone wants money, someone wants free booze, while someone wants women. Don't be an idiot and copy that someone, have your own standards for yourself. Its not even worth living the life you have by other people's standards that are limited! My parents had a poverty mindset. No matter how better off they get they still think poor, and I have had the privilege of putting up with people who have an assumed status of being rich, while earning a shitty salary that would get beaten by a fresher in some countries. Point is, these people do not live in the reality.. It is an assumed status and a shitty one at that. Now if you were to associate with such people, I gotta tell you one thing and one thing only, when you die and are being buried, burnt or cremated - you will either carry regret or not carry your money! Why do that to yourself really?
5) When shit happens, look at the brighter side of it: Learning this took me a long time, nevertheless I learnt it. It doesn't matter what shit befalls you, try to thank it and think through it as to what you need to do to carry on with your life! If you watch surveys you will understand that 95% of the households in this world are dysfunctional! So when someone is busy faking shit don't think your life sucks. Its just that you don't know what their shit is precisely, but you know yours! And so understand that although your conditions look gory, there is a way out of it always!
6) Do what makes you happy, only then can you make others around you happy: This one again took me a long time to follow! You are sometimes slapped with so many expectations and templates to fit into that eventually you realize you have hit rock bottom in your life trying to please others. A better thing to do is to do what keeps you happy without listening to what others say or expect from you. It might be hard to explain but it is my experience that when I am happy from the inside, I am actually attracting happier people. At least they walk up to me and ask how am I able to be so chirpy and happy. My answer to that is that I am happy because I do what keeps me happy. Sometimes people don't even know what makes them happy so why not focus on that first before you go all out to fit that fucking social template really?
7) Nothing is definitive of your life, its all transient: My friend was rather poor in studies, was from a lower income family. Imagine if he had resigned to that and lived up to it! Instead this clever little cleaver went hunting for some odd job, mastered pottery and now sells pottery online to people across the world. Boo you all because now he has a house in New Zealand, plays with sand and paints it whatever he likes and people buy that for a great sum! So where am I? The so called top five people in my class? Writing about him! Whenever you are down and out, realize that this is not the fate that you are resigned to live forever. I have met so many poor people, they take things one day at a time. I have also met some rich people who are worried about how one bad day means the end of their lives! Change your reactions to your surroundings and I assure you you will tide through it just fine.
It is the glass that is either half full or empty. The glass that holds that water! Think about it, its not about the water but the glass :)
Until then this happy Buddhist bids you a happy goodbye!
Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo
To begin with, I have had a tough childhood and an equally punitive set of people for friends, family and husband/boyfriend. To the world they might appear OK, but dealing with them was a real pain in my "ASS" and I vouch for that. Anyway the part of the world where I stay, the lunes always seem to get the right support and convince people that you are the one instead!
Nevertheless, off late with my Buddhist practice, I discovered the furry kitten ball side to me that went missing for a very long time! So the need to prove the proverbial idiot wrong went right out of the window, because you see there are 7 billion people on this planet. Not everyone thinks the same of me and to my surprise, if I disconnect myself from the people I am surrounded with, the so called family, I discovered the universe was a brighter and shinier place!
So here are 7 steps that you can follow to transition from Dummy to Sunny side up:
1) Do not place too much importance on people's opinions. I know this is the hardest part, and rightfully so because as humans we would want dignity and respect for who we are. And not just that but also be understood by the people we are close to. But opinions keep changing, if you wanna see how then go figure how our view of a perfectly capable president changes after a five year term! Or better still how you buy things that you thought you never would! I for one am buying stupid things like Vitamin C serum! I could pop the pill fair and square but hell no, I am slathering that on my face because the beauty industry tells me, contrary to what I read in my biology class that my skin needs vitamins! Wallah!! That is a change in a 5 year period ;)
2) Know who is telling you a lie! Whether its a lie about you or you are being lied to, it doesn't matter, but when something seems off by a big scale, know that its time to not trust and disconnect. I would often get upset when people lied about people and used them as pawns to mock them or better still get sadistic pleasures by hurting them. But you know what, look at the funny and sad part, that is the only way they know to come up in life or do anything in the name of doing! Pity them and move on! The best way to look at it is from a movie reel point of view, look at them as these characters who are beyond repair and in their own funny ways are "Assholes of the nth order!"
3) Know whom to listen to! Don't ever listen to people who give advises, nor listen to people that cannot understand where you are coming from. Because there is a side effect to their advise, if all goes well they don't mind taking the credit for it but should it go bad then you my dear are screwed. They will duck and hope that you don't ever have the luck to point it out to them! So the best thing is make your own choices, eventually one way or the other, what I laid out above will happen should it go well or bad. And its better that you make your own mistakes and call it experience than fail at someone else's advise and call it a grudge!!
4) Never live by people's standards. You see, someone wants money, someone wants free booze, while someone wants women. Don't be an idiot and copy that someone, have your own standards for yourself. Its not even worth living the life you have by other people's standards that are limited! My parents had a poverty mindset. No matter how better off they get they still think poor, and I have had the privilege of putting up with people who have an assumed status of being rich, while earning a shitty salary that would get beaten by a fresher in some countries. Point is, these people do not live in the reality.. It is an assumed status and a shitty one at that. Now if you were to associate with such people, I gotta tell you one thing and one thing only, when you die and are being buried, burnt or cremated - you will either carry regret or not carry your money! Why do that to yourself really?
5) When shit happens, look at the brighter side of it: Learning this took me a long time, nevertheless I learnt it. It doesn't matter what shit befalls you, try to thank it and think through it as to what you need to do to carry on with your life! If you watch surveys you will understand that 95% of the households in this world are dysfunctional! So when someone is busy faking shit don't think your life sucks. Its just that you don't know what their shit is precisely, but you know yours! And so understand that although your conditions look gory, there is a way out of it always!
6) Do what makes you happy, only then can you make others around you happy: This one again took me a long time to follow! You are sometimes slapped with so many expectations and templates to fit into that eventually you realize you have hit rock bottom in your life trying to please others. A better thing to do is to do what keeps you happy without listening to what others say or expect from you. It might be hard to explain but it is my experience that when I am happy from the inside, I am actually attracting happier people. At least they walk up to me and ask how am I able to be so chirpy and happy. My answer to that is that I am happy because I do what keeps me happy. Sometimes people don't even know what makes them happy so why not focus on that first before you go all out to fit that fucking social template really?
7) Nothing is definitive of your life, its all transient: My friend was rather poor in studies, was from a lower income family. Imagine if he had resigned to that and lived up to it! Instead this clever little cleaver went hunting for some odd job, mastered pottery and now sells pottery online to people across the world. Boo you all because now he has a house in New Zealand, plays with sand and paints it whatever he likes and people buy that for a great sum! So where am I? The so called top five people in my class? Writing about him! Whenever you are down and out, realize that this is not the fate that you are resigned to live forever. I have met so many poor people, they take things one day at a time. I have also met some rich people who are worried about how one bad day means the end of their lives! Change your reactions to your surroundings and I assure you you will tide through it just fine.
It is the glass that is either half full or empty. The glass that holds that water! Think about it, its not about the water but the glass :)
Until then this happy Buddhist bids you a happy goodbye!
Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo
