I have started to get repulsed by the traditions we Indians follow. I might offend a lot of people who are reading this today but I feel like a village brute when I have to silently bear with the nonsense that follows after any woman looses her husband. I decided to write on it because I think its the single most stupidity our culture propagates! AGAIN I AM SO SUFFOCATED THAT PEOPLE WHO THINK I AM INSANE CAN TAKE A HIKE!
The other day I happened to meet a widow who had come to a friend's place for gauri and ganesha festival and refused to partake in the aarti ceremony, a festival where the god of wisdom and the goddess is worshiped and yet our wisdom takes a backseat is what I thought, at least that's what most of us blindly follow. The logic behind it: SHE IS A WIDOW OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhh.
The husband eater who will cast a bad shadow and might make others loose their husbands as well, sooooo inauspicious!! I feel like ridiculing half of the traditions we follow. I will probably give a very logical explanation but yes lets not pass on suffering to people when we are at least praying to a god, for god doesn't differentiate, neither does he care a damn about your status be it marital/social or financial! I of course made her take the aarti, sit with us, to the annoyance of some of the elders. Who really need a silent yet loving nudge that they are being unfair. I wasn't rude but I silently wanted them to accept new ways of thinking.
Let us get the possible logic for the dont's that a widow had to abide by:
1) Cannot partake in any auspicious functions: Probably because in the olden days remarriage was unthinkable of, and this could mean lack of domestic happiness for some (Read it as lack of a male presence) and hence the cause for jealousy/ill wish and frustration. Personally, I do not feel casting a bad shadow actually means what it means!
2) Cannot wear a bindi: OOOk this is a bit tricky but let me handle this. Red bindi signifies marriage, however the bindi is put between the eyebrows to ignite the Ajna chakra, which is the seat of wisdom. So basically your kundalini energy rises from your mooladhara chakra to ignite perception, intuition and extra sensory abilities. If some of the saints who have renounced everything can put a sandalwood bindu, I think so should the widows!
3) Have to cut hair, should wear a white saree and no other colors, give up ornaments: Basically to make a woman look unattractive so that she doesn't invite a wandering eye. White symbolizes purity, so this could mean she is not to be touched anymore. Agreed but that's in line with the thinking of olden days that you are not allowed to remarry.
On this topic I would also like to mention a folklore from our ancient texts:
Planet Guru's wife Tara had left him because he was too logical and ran away with Chandra, who is ever so romantic and had a son, who was Budha. Now Guru and Chandra wage a war, which was potentially threatening to the existence of brhamanda. Also Tara is needed by Guru's side while he would conduct his yajnas as one could not do yajnas without his wife (Significance of equal participation and status of women, need I say!). So fearing the destruction of this world, Vishnu orders Tara to return back to her husband. In Mahabharata, there is a story where Pandavas pluck the fruit of a Jumbu tree, which was supposed to be consumed by a rishi who had finishes his tapas and is on his way to pluck the fruit and end his fast. The tree speaks to Draupadi that if the rishi does not find the fruit, he will put a curse on the pandavas. Only way to put it back there? Tell the truth. After trying very hard she admits that she has eternal love for karna and the fruit sticks to the tree. her husbands watch in silence and none of them actually accuse her of being unchaste.
And if you thought prostitutes do not go to heaven, then one ought to read Shiv Leelamrut Adhyay 11. For there even Shiva takes a Prostitute called Mahananada to his heavenly abode, because she worships him with pure devotion! I can also say the same about Jesus' role in saving his disciple Mary Magdelene!! Moral of the story : When married women were allowed to have feelings or sexual partners, how is it that widows cannot? Come on! Your husband is dead and no more, and you are by no means committing any adultery. When women who are prostitutes are forgiven and get the blessings of god, who are we to ostracize them? Why do we support such things? Why isn't the male taken to task and the woman blamed for prostitution?? Isn't it injustice? I leave it to YOU!!
4) Has to renounce food, home and live separate: This is a very difficult area to address and a painful one for me to even address. Arises because a woman is a liability ( doesn't earn a livelihood, does not have any rights to property from the paternal side of the family and is not allowed to mingle with other males so that there is no chance of a marriage). And seclusion is the best option for anyone who is considered a burden. Hmm... if she doesn't die of it that is!
5) Last but not the least "The Sati system": same reasons as mentioned above. Unfortunately the main reason behind why Sati, Shiva's wife actually set herself on fire and ended her life is a totally different story! And yet we are told a different one as a sign of commitment to our dead husbands. so here is my argument: a) which woman would want her husband to die? b) Which woman is actually responsible for the death of a husband she loves? would she not pray for his long life? c) And which man has been dealt with the same way in the past?
Answer to all of it is NONE! What the men especially our GREAT CULTURE forgot to really notice is that:
a) Shiva renounced everything and went on a Tapas! He did not remarry! He grieved. He married Sati's reincarnation, which is Parvati, a rebirth Sati took for Shiva.
b) Ram ended his life after sometime seeing no value in loosing his wife to mother earth after she was asked to take up an agni pariksha for proving her chastity. Again, he did not remarry.
So when gods live a different life, how is it that a man is allowed to remarry and really doesn't renounce much? I WONDER!! To end it, I think every woman, be it a mother/sister/daughter is auspicious and has equal rights to survive with respect and fulfill her wishes than be considered inauspicious. Either we follow whatever our elders have passed on since generations without using logic or we become more spiritually enlightened and don't differentiate and give people the love they truly deserve.
CHOICE IS OURS!
The other day I happened to meet a widow who had come to a friend's place for gauri and ganesha festival and refused to partake in the aarti ceremony, a festival where the god of wisdom and the goddess is worshiped and yet our wisdom takes a backseat is what I thought, at least that's what most of us blindly follow. The logic behind it: SHE IS A WIDOW OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhh.
The husband eater who will cast a bad shadow and might make others loose their husbands as well, sooooo inauspicious!! I feel like ridiculing half of the traditions we follow. I will probably give a very logical explanation but yes lets not pass on suffering to people when we are at least praying to a god, for god doesn't differentiate, neither does he care a damn about your status be it marital/social or financial! I of course made her take the aarti, sit with us, to the annoyance of some of the elders. Who really need a silent yet loving nudge that they are being unfair. I wasn't rude but I silently wanted them to accept new ways of thinking.
Let us get the possible logic for the dont's that a widow had to abide by:
1) Cannot partake in any auspicious functions: Probably because in the olden days remarriage was unthinkable of, and this could mean lack of domestic happiness for some (Read it as lack of a male presence) and hence the cause for jealousy/ill wish and frustration. Personally, I do not feel casting a bad shadow actually means what it means!
2) Cannot wear a bindi: OOOk this is a bit tricky but let me handle this. Red bindi signifies marriage, however the bindi is put between the eyebrows to ignite the Ajna chakra, which is the seat of wisdom. So basically your kundalini energy rises from your mooladhara chakra to ignite perception, intuition and extra sensory abilities. If some of the saints who have renounced everything can put a sandalwood bindu, I think so should the widows!
3) Have to cut hair, should wear a white saree and no other colors, give up ornaments: Basically to make a woman look unattractive so that she doesn't invite a wandering eye. White symbolizes purity, so this could mean she is not to be touched anymore. Agreed but that's in line with the thinking of olden days that you are not allowed to remarry.
On this topic I would also like to mention a folklore from our ancient texts:
Planet Guru's wife Tara had left him because he was too logical and ran away with Chandra, who is ever so romantic and had a son, who was Budha. Now Guru and Chandra wage a war, which was potentially threatening to the existence of brhamanda. Also Tara is needed by Guru's side while he would conduct his yajnas as one could not do yajnas without his wife (Significance of equal participation and status of women, need I say!). So fearing the destruction of this world, Vishnu orders Tara to return back to her husband. In Mahabharata, there is a story where Pandavas pluck the fruit of a Jumbu tree, which was supposed to be consumed by a rishi who had finishes his tapas and is on his way to pluck the fruit and end his fast. The tree speaks to Draupadi that if the rishi does not find the fruit, he will put a curse on the pandavas. Only way to put it back there? Tell the truth. After trying very hard she admits that she has eternal love for karna and the fruit sticks to the tree. her husbands watch in silence and none of them actually accuse her of being unchaste.
And if you thought prostitutes do not go to heaven, then one ought to read Shiv Leelamrut Adhyay 11. For there even Shiva takes a Prostitute called Mahananada to his heavenly abode, because she worships him with pure devotion! I can also say the same about Jesus' role in saving his disciple Mary Magdelene!! Moral of the story : When married women were allowed to have feelings or sexual partners, how is it that widows cannot? Come on! Your husband is dead and no more, and you are by no means committing any adultery. When women who are prostitutes are forgiven and get the blessings of god, who are we to ostracize them? Why do we support such things? Why isn't the male taken to task and the woman blamed for prostitution?? Isn't it injustice? I leave it to YOU!!
4) Has to renounce food, home and live separate: This is a very difficult area to address and a painful one for me to even address. Arises because a woman is a liability ( doesn't earn a livelihood, does not have any rights to property from the paternal side of the family and is not allowed to mingle with other males so that there is no chance of a marriage). And seclusion is the best option for anyone who is considered a burden. Hmm... if she doesn't die of it that is!
5) Last but not the least "The Sati system": same reasons as mentioned above. Unfortunately the main reason behind why Sati, Shiva's wife actually set herself on fire and ended her life is a totally different story! And yet we are told a different one as a sign of commitment to our dead husbands. so here is my argument: a) which woman would want her husband to die? b) Which woman is actually responsible for the death of a husband she loves? would she not pray for his long life? c) And which man has been dealt with the same way in the past?
Answer to all of it is NONE! What the men especially our GREAT CULTURE forgot to really notice is that:
a) Shiva renounced everything and went on a Tapas! He did not remarry! He grieved. He married Sati's reincarnation, which is Parvati, a rebirth Sati took for Shiva.
b) Ram ended his life after sometime seeing no value in loosing his wife to mother earth after she was asked to take up an agni pariksha for proving her chastity. Again, he did not remarry.
So when gods live a different life, how is it that a man is allowed to remarry and really doesn't renounce much? I WONDER!! To end it, I think every woman, be it a mother/sister/daughter is auspicious and has equal rights to survive with respect and fulfill her wishes than be considered inauspicious. Either we follow whatever our elders have passed on since generations without using logic or we become more spiritually enlightened and don't differentiate and give people the love they truly deserve.
CHOICE IS OURS!
No comments:
Post a Comment